“Welcome welcome loyal listeners and citizens of the Apocalypse. We gather today in the wake of scandalous news. Just in case you were in a coma or had a bit of a case of shamblerism, here's what you missed this season in the Aftermath of the Apocalypse!

“Now, how could we start this broadcast without mentioning the showdown that occurred in the canyon little more than a few weeks ago. It appears our very own personal Moonlight orchestrated a grand battle against an organisation called The Teardrops. Dear viewers, what a spectacle? Matteo Casiano, a soldier of Monument, in love with - by all accounts - a beautiful dark haired woman by the name of Afia Nakato, who was tragically killed in the fight has sworn his revenge, while Moonlight displays such determination to bring down this corrupt organisation- whatever the cost!

“But Matteo may not be the only one upset by this death. There are rumours that Captain Ferrill was seen visiting the Canyon a number of times over the past year- could it be that there was an affair there?

“Moonlight, I think I speak for all of us here when I say we are utterly enthralled by this story, and we await the next installment with baited breath!

“In other news, our scaly friends have been kept safe by a number among our community in an undisclosed location, but rumours abound about the wonders of their culture and the beauty of their language. Truly they must have an eye for art.

“It appears that these particular guests are part of a larger coalition of lizards who are working together from various different places to aid those who have been hurt in the apocalypse.

“Meanwhile a number of lizards to the North have been less charitable and attempts to trade have ended in the lizards simply taking what has been offered to them for nothing in return! They seem to have no concept of economics at all, but after we all lost our memories, who does? If you know what economics are, phone in now!

“In other news, our friend Pastel has been spending such a lot of time in that Night Temple of hers, and in undisclosed rooms as well. Who knows what she's hiding? Surely our death-masked wonder of a Councilor couldn't be doing any wrong…

“Finally it appears the illustrious Dinner Club have taken ill. The cause is unknown but there are whispers that their consumption of dead bodies has finally gotten to them and some form of shamblerism may be taking effect. Who could have predicted such a turn of events! “Well folks, that's all from me. Stay tuned this season in the Aftermath of the Apocalypse, and as always, SMILE FOR THE CAMERAS.”